We're back... so now what???

Last Friday, we turned NuTrix into the wind and dropped the mainsail for the last time. I found the red and green markers that lined the entrance to our canal system and turned our boat towards home. Ray and I were excited to see our daughter, Hannah and our kitty, Scout as well as feel the air conditioning and other landside extravagances!!

After securing the dock lines, we pretty much jumped off and fell back into the world of landlubbers. We even ordered Chinese food and plopped in front of the TV. We were back...... so now what???  The next morning we rolled out of bed and looked around at the HUGE room. I kept wondering how the bedroom became so massive?? Tons of bags lay on the floor in every room just waiting to be put away. My thoughts drifted back to the summer months of cleaning on the boat. One small bathroom, a berth which was made up of, well, a berth and a living area with a galley that housed a small sink and a three burner stove.

Cleaning up was fast and so easy! Now looking around at the three bedrooms, a living room, an office and two bathrooms not counting laundry and dishes and sweeping and vacuuming and lawn care and grocery shopping...........I think I want to go back on my boat!! Ray and I take our coffee and sit in the living room where we can be close together. The TV stations are flipped from show to show in hopes of finding something worth the 114.00 a month that Comcast charges. No luck!!! We finally flip the darn thing off and turn on our jazz music and look out at the water. Ray finally deems it necessary to start working to get everything back to normal... whatever that means?? We go our separate ways and the day trudges forward. I keep thinking about the snorkeling and swimming, the hiking and exploring, the planning and the fun that made up each day in the summer as I scrape dishes and throw dirty clothes into the washer. My heart tugs a little and I feel sad. I realize that I miss Ray!! He has been outside most of the afternoon and I have been cleaning and organizing the house. I drop what I am doing and go look for him and we run into each other as he is coming to look for me!! We both agree that we need a break from the tasks at hand so we again sit in our living room looking for entertainment on TV. The adjustment back home is turning into much more than we have ever felt upon returning. It almost feels like we are living in someone else's house. I had just mentioned this to Ray as my cellphone rang with a jingle telling me Hannah was calling. When I answered, she screamed into the phone, "Mom, I was robbed, I was robbed!"..... Dinner was forgotten, some stupid decorating show was forgotten as Ray and I  flew across town to the Subway where Hannah worked. My little girl who is 19, looked like a little six year old as she sat shaking with her hands clutched tightly together. I rushed over and held her..... so glad that the robber only took money and not my daughter. The thought stopped my breath and clenched my heart up into my throat. We stayed with her for two hours as the police dusted for prints and asked Hannah questions about the description of someone who not only took money, but peace of mind!! As I drove home, I couldnt help but think of all of the people who worried about us going on  our sailing adventure. They talked of pirates and storms and wondered if we would be okay. I didn't meet any pirates on our trip, well other than Ray and any storm that we encountered was forecasted way before it hit us. Our boat is strong and her captain competent to handle what nature brings. The people in the Bahamas are friendly and helpful and I have never been afraid there...... tonight, I was so afraid. Tonight, some crazy, horrible person stole my peace when they threatened my daughter.

Then and there, I wanted to take my children and along with my husband, sail away to where I feel safe.

On board our sailboat, we are face challenges together. No one has to go through anything alone. This land life has been the scene of many terrifying experiences for me and my family. In 2009, Rachel was in a horrible car accident that was so awful no one should have walked away. I was mere inches away from losing her! The next month, I was inches away from losing Tanner to a bullet aimed at his heart...... and now my youngest is robbed. There is no safety here!! I would much rather plot courses around storms, swim on reefs where sharks prowl the waters and climb up limestone hills with jagged edge sharp stones, than be at the mercy of people and their bad choices. The policeman who was with us last Saturday night said that all criminals go throughout their day with the intent to do wrong, our circumstances give them the opportunity. So we have to change our circumstances.... walk with other people, never close a store alone, lock windows and doors... live our lives thinking of how to deter a bad person!!!  I do not think I like that kind of life. To make matters worse, we have to be apart from our families all day long. Ray has to go to his rigging jobs and I have to go to my classroom. We say good-by at 6:30 and do not see one another until around five in the afternoon. I miss my husband!! I miss our lazy mornings, I miss our swimming excursions and snorkeling adventures. AND... I miss feeling safe! Life on a sailboat can be challenging with the small spaces, lack of AC and lack of communications with family, but really, those things can be fixed. The so called bad is far outweighed by the good.

I miss being on my boat. I miss the fun and the comfort and I miss Ray. It has been a difficult challenge getting back into our landside routines. Ray comes home each night sore and exhausted and I have yet to get back down to my classroom. We spend our evenings looking at photos of our trip and planning the next one. Ray talks about the improvements that Nu Trix needs and think of ways to make money while living aboard. Do not get me wrong, I feel fortunate to have a great job and this lovely home and our business is growing and takes care of us financially, it is just that the wanderlust gets louder with each year. The summer trips used to satisfy the hunger, but now they just whet the appetite more. There is so much to see and so many places to go and I long to go!!!  It is harder and harder to deal with the day to day problems in this reality. The political crap and the crime is out of control. Since Saturday's robbery, I check the doors and walk through the house each night, making sure someone is not making a choice to do harm. I never once felt scared on the sailboat and we don't even have a latch for the companionway!! As a matter of fact, we normally sleep with all the hatches opened! I love the feeling of watching the stars as I fall asleep and being able to sleep without a care in the world. I do not have that luxury here on land and I miss it.

So now what???... I will go back to work and the days and weeks will turn into months with the wanderlust's call getting more and more faint with the loud call of  responsibilities. Ray and I will finally fall into a daily routine of working but in the back of our minds that small pull will keep growing. We have a really great life here with some great friends and the parties and family reunions always bring smiles and happiness, but they do not dull the need for adventure. We have ten months from today before we set sail again. Ten months before we get to spend each day together, exploring and finding life. Christopher Cross really nailed it with his lyrics!! "Oh the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see" and  "just a dream and the wind to carry me, so I will be free"......... It really is a freedom!

A freedom that is hard to explain, but means that when the weather gets bad, you move, when the neighbors are annoying, you move, when you've seen it all, you move...... it is all in the mobility, the freedom!!! It really does just require a dream and the wind......of course, a great captain always helps too!!!!